Praying for Sunshine

     On this past Sunday, we had a party to celebrate the birthdays of our three youngest children.  Leo, Oliver and Ginger have birthdays in June, July and August so we always throw them one big Summer celebration.  Every year I seem to pick a weekend where lots of families are away and I worry about how many people will come.  I didn't have to worry this year.  Everyone was coming.  As the guest list kept growing, I began praying for a sunny, dry day so the party could be outside.  I basically never wish for days to be sunny and dry, so this was new for me.  It wasn't even about not wanting 40 kids and 35 adults in my house.  It was because I knew they would have more fun outside.  There.  I said it.  Even I knew they would have more fun outside.
     The day of the party was indeed warm and dry.  Very warm. Unpleasantly warm.  I whined every time I stepped outside to work on preparations.  Luckily my super, amazing husband took care of 99.8% of what needed to get done out there.  My jobs were blissfully contained in the climate controlled utopia of the house.  I cooked and cleaned and decorated cakes and painted names on beach bags for the kids coming to the party.
     Five o'clock came and it was party time!  Outside we had a sand table with hidden shells, a large block of ice with treasures frozen inside, pennies in the hay, a kiddie pool, a large homemade slip and slide and new for 2015...slip and slide kickball!!!  Soon the house and yard were full.  The slip and slide had at least ten kids on it at any given time and there was a wet and wild kickball game that went on for hours.

Homemade slip and slide

     We purposely planned the event for early evening so it would be cooler.  The yard was shady and it was actually bordering on reasonable out there.  Our guests ate and chatted.  There were people sitting on the grass relaxing as the children played together without incident.  It couldn't have been nicer.  I was grateful for the weather that made this day possible.   I can't believe it either, but I was.
     The morning after the party I woke up stiff and sore from two straight days on my feet.  I got the children up and we headed to the yard to begin clean up efforts.  Socks and cups floated in the kiddie pool.  More cups were spotted mysteriously in the treetops.  It looked like the aftermath of a college kegger.  To top it all off, there was a pair of panties on the fence post of the horse's pen.  Now that is evidence of a great party!

No Pictures Please!!!

     Last week Oliver, Ginger and I headed back to the lake house.  We weren't ten minutes away from our home when I realized I forgot the camera.  I had made detailed lists outlining our meals for each of the four days we would be gone including which groceries we would need.  I remembered bathing suits, clothes, even the Quiet Bag we needed to bring to church on Sunday.  Yet, I forgot the camera.  I contemplated turning around, but I didn't want to lose the momentum and enthusiasm we were already experiencing.  We had the book on CD playing, the mountains of stuffed animals and blankets filling the backseat, full Disney  and Scooby Doo lunchboxes by our sides, and we had already sang two triumphant verses of "On the Road Again" at the top of our lungs.  I decided to press on and do without.
     Most everybody these days would have been fine without a camera on a mini vacation because their fancy phones take pictures.  However, my phone isn't fancy.  It is barely even a phone.  Technically, it does take pictures.  Teeny, tiny ones with no way to zoom in.  I do occasionally use the camera feature but I have no idea how to get the photos off the camera onto Facebook or into print.  So it was time to face the music.  This would be a camera-less trip.

No Pictures Please!!!

     Schroon Lake is absolutely beautiful.  It is a gorgeous clear lake surrounded by pine trees.  The sun was shining, my children were being adorable and I couldn't take a single picture of any of it.  Like many other women, I have a love-hate relationship with cameras.  I love taking and having pictures of my kids.  I hate having my picture taken.  I always feel insecure and worry that I will look too fat, too old, too something.  I have been trying to overcome this mindset so my family will look back through the years and remember that I did, in fact, exist.  One major lifestyle change at a time please.  For now I am working hard at just going outside.
     Just like our last trip to the lake house, we spent most of each day at the beach.  I am still working on wanting to be outside, but I am at least better at going outside.  I may even be starting to understand why someone would choose to go out when they could stay in.  Maybe.  I think I get it as far as kids go anyway.  When you are outside you don't have to watch your volume and you can frolic and things don't get broken as easily.  You make friends with kids you don't know and you explore and you find treasures you didn't know you couldn't live without like the world's most microscopic snail shell.
     So for four days I sat in the sun watching my kids smile and splash and have the time of their lives.  I never told them it was time to go home.  I just waited until they wore themselves out.  I had my feet buried in the sand, I judged sandcastle building contests, I complained about the heat (not a lot!), and I didn't take a single picture of any of it.  So instead of capturing memories we were busy making them.

Through Leo's Eyes

     We have a son with special needs.  Leo is intellectually disabled amongst a variety of other disorders.  He is also compassionate, affectionate, polite, obsessed with sneakers and High School Musical and tries hard at everything he does.  Unfortunately, his disabilities makes him a challenge a good deal of the time.  As a couple, my husband and I tend to divide the kids up so that one parent has Leo and the other parent has Oliver and Ginger.  That way the rest of the kids get some attention.  Most of the time Dennis has Leo.
     The other day I had Leo all to myself and I tried to really savor it instead of just trying to make it work.  I had kids at work, school and camps so Leo and I were left to adventure on our own.  We had just dropped off Ginger at a library class.  My original plan was to stay at the library in air conditioned book reading bliss, but Leo said, "I can't just stay inside all day!".  Although staying inside all day is my favorite thing to do, "New Outside Adventuring Blogger Diana" knew I had to seize this chance.  So we went for a walk through town.
     Since I decided to take on the challenge of going outdoors once a week and blogging about it, I have tried to focus on what I see, hear and feel when I am outside.  At first that is what I did.  I was fixated on the noises of a town full of traffic and of course, I was thinking about how painfully warm it was.  Quickly though I began to focus on Leo and how he was experiencing things.  He was terrified.  We don't usually walk around in places with so much noise or traffic.  He held onto my hand like it was his lifeline.  As we approached an intersection I thought he would enjoy pushing the button to make the light tell us when to walk.  He liked pushing the button but was frozen at the prospect of crossing the street.  To make it worse, the light never changed and we had to walk when it said not to.  Being Leo means being trapped in a brain that doesn't work like other eleven year olds.  It means being confused a lot of the time and that means being vulnerable.  My heart was breaking for this child I love so much and am so often frustrated with.  I held his hand tighter and we crossed the street.

Leo

     He never let go as we went to the post office and mailed a letter to his sister in college.  We headed back towards the library and I spontaneously pulled him into a toy store for a peek.  The store was a darling, quaint little place with toys in the back and a candy shop up front.  He never asked for anything and just delighted in looking around.  He asked what certain toys were for.  Again my heart was breaking.  Leo doesn't really have an imagination.  He doesn't play with toys.  He does sports and he does them well because they have rules and expectations.  Toys don't work in his world.  We walked into the candy section and there I found my idea of Heaven.  They had candy form Great Britain!  It was like a flashback to my childhood visits to my family in England and Wales.  I had to have it.  I selected a few of my favorites like Penguin bars and Refreshers.  By then the shop owner had begun a chat with Leo and was showing him the playroom where she hosts play groups and classes.  He said that he wanted to go there and I had to explain it was for younger kids.  He offered to come and help her run the classes and take care of the kids for her.  I understood then that Leo is not really aware of his limitations.  He truly believes he would be an asset to her business.  My heart tore a little more.  She told Leo that she was offering a creative writing class to kids his age and he got very excited and asked if I could bring him there.  He kept telling her that he had very good handwriting.  I knew he couldn't participate in a class like that, so I told him we would have to discuss it.  Again, my heart was aching.
     As we were leaving to go back to the library, his hand found mine again.  I asked him what my favorite thing to do was.  He answered, "Hold my hand".  He was right.  I think he was relieved when we navigated the crosswalks and arrived safely back where we had started.  At the library a toddler was playing in the children's area and Leo was eager to talk with him.  The boy couldn't say any real words yet and that suited Leo just fine.  Leo acted like he understood everything he said and found a ball to entertain him with.  This went on for quite some time while the boy's mother and I chatted.  When Ginger's class was over and it was time to go, I told Leo that we were going to head home.  He looked at me and said, "I can't leave.  The baby needs me."
     Although I didn't really experience the Great Outdoors on this adventure, I did really learn things.  My Leo sees the world as a very different place than most of us. He is vulnerable and trusting and everything is big and important.  When I took the time to see things through his eyes my heart broke, but holding his hand helped put it back together.

A Change of Scenery

     I apologize for not writing this post sooner, but I was busy being OUTSIDE!  For the past week two of my children and I were on a vacation to Schroon Lake, a beautiful lakeside community in the Adirondacks.  We are blessed to have such generous friends that they frequently loan us their vacation home there.  As often as we can, some combination of my family borrows the house which is a mere two or three minute walk to the lake.  This time it was Ginger, Oliver and my turn.
     The three of us have been there two times before together but never in summer weather.  The first trip was last October.  The kids insisted on swimming in the deserted lake while I sat on the beach wrapped from head to toe in their warm towels.  The next time we visited was in April while part of the lake was still thick with ice.  That time we focused our outdoor energy on the local playgrounds.  For this trip I knew the weather was ripe for beach trips.  Lots of them.  I summoned my inner strength and in order to show my commitment to all things outside, I had my nails done for the occasion.  That is how ready I was.

"I had my nails done for the occasion."

     We arrived on Saturday evening and went straight to unpacking and making dinner.  I did channel my fun mom side and took them on a walk to get ice cream.  I will admit that I love the ease of walking everywhere when we are there.  At home we live in a more rural area and can't walk to anything except the local graveyard.  It felt so good to enjoy the simplicity of a quiet walk holding my daughter's hand and seeing the excitement of treating my kids to a late night snack.
     The next day we walked to a nearby church and then stopped on the way home to play at a playground.  It had rained overnight and the only seat available was an outdoor chaise- loungy thing with a fabric cover.  It was sunny and warm and I couldn't just stand there.  I gave in and sat on the soaked cushion.  I hung on as long as I could while the children played.  It got hotter and hotter and I got wetter and wetter.  I lasted about an hour and then suggested we head home.  After lunch was our first beach trip.  The children were in the water faster than I could set up my soccer mom chair on the sand.  They were in paradise.  I am about to admit something big.  I was happy to be outside.  Happy. Outside.  Watching them was a pure delight.  They made friends, built sand structures, swam, played, and giggled.  It was wonderful.  We stayed for hours.  We stayed past dinner time and past when the other families left.  Exhausted, we headed home.  Repeat that for the next five days.
     I really was extra fun during this trip and we were outside each day for many hours.  By day four though, I prayed for rain.  I got it in the form of a thunderstorm overnight and a grey morning.  It didn't last and we were right back on the beach by lunchtime.  Oh well.  The children were so happy.  That was all I needed to keep myself on that beach.

Ginger and Oliver

     I will admit that it was easier to be outside because the weather was so reasonable.  Just as soon as I would start to complain about the heat, the sun would disappear behind a cloud and I would stop my grumbling.  Watching the kids was what really made it all worthwhile.  It made me think how easy it would be to make them happy by getting outside with them more.  They need to run and be noisy and explore.  They were loving every minute of our time there and that made me love it too.
     Saturday morning we slept in, tidied up, and were on our way home from the Lake House.  We were all sad to leave.  By the time we had driven the three hours back to our house the rain started in earnest and continued for the rest of the day and all through the weekend.  Believe it or not, I was glad it waited for us to go.

   
   

Ugly Hot

     So it turns out that Saturday was National Get Outdoors Day.  I participated in National Hug Your Cat Day and I tried to participate in National Doughnut Day, (who ever would have thought Dunkin Donuts would run out of doughnuts?), so I figured the least I could do was participate in this one too.
     I started the day by heading out to the baseball field to watch my youngest daughter play.  Ginger is a delightful little girl who is social and silly and easy going.  Although she has no real interest in sports, she is always perfectly happy to go to baseball each week.  It may be because she loves to talk to each player as they stop on the base she is guarding.  It may be because there are so many pretty flowers to pick while she mans the outfield.  No matter what the reason, she gets ready each week in her uniform shirt and one of her favorite skirts and hits the field smiling!  A lot of progress has been made with Ginger and her baseball skills through the years.  Until this season, she would frequently be found lying in the grass sucking her thumb during games.  This season she has remained standing at every game!  Another change has happened this year.  She got good at baseball.  Very good.  I think it has been a surprise to everyone, especially Ginger.  That girl can hit!  And catch!  And throw!  Who knew?  This game was no exception.  With the first pitch she sent that ball flying between second and third base and way out into the field!  Like any self-respecting parent would, I screamed, "That's my kid!".  Can you imagine how well she would play if she actually cared about baseball?  After the game a variety of parents came over to tell her it was the best hit of the season. Well there you go.

Ginger "playing" baseball last year

     Although I technically had already been outside for national Get Outdoors Day, I wanted to do even better.  (Was it possible I was really going outside twice in one day of my own free will?)  So when my family left to visit a local farm and pick up our first farm share of the summer, I decided to tag along.  Great Song Farm is a local treasure in my opinion.  The young farmers, Anthony and Sarah are friendly and welcoming and are always ready to share their passion for the farm with you. When we arrived we went straight to the shed where the bounty was laid out.  There were gorgeous mounds of fresh greens each with a placard explaining what they were.  There was head lettuce, bok choy, spring mix, and mustard greens.  There was also fresh basil and garlic scapes and Chinese broccoli.  It smelled heavenly.  I was left to fill our bags while my husband, Dennis explored the farm with our youngest three, Ginger, Oliver and Leo.
     Once the bags were full of fresh vegetables, I went out to find my family.  They were off with Sarah visiting the draft horses.  I had a quick snuggle with the beautiful horses and then we decided to walk around some more.  The kids found a ball and began to play.  I went to the van to grab some water.  In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit this is when I stopped having fun and in all honesty, stopped being fun.  It was hot.  Ugly hot.  It was the kind of hot that made me want to punch a wall.  I wanted my central air conditioning and I wanted it now.

     When I decided to embark on this plan to go outside every week for a year, I did realize that some of those weeks would fall in the summer and more often than not, be very hot.  One of the reasons I chose to start when I did was to get the worst weather over with first. Of course the planning of this journey was made easier since it took place while I was soaking up some ice cold AC in the comfort of the Great Indoors!  I refuse to be discouraged though and I won't consider quitting!!!  I have a lot of summer ahead of me and lots of opportunities to try again.  Who knows?  Maybe I will learn to love the outdoors and sunshine and hot days.  Stranger things have been known to happen.

Baby Steps

     Three posts into my new blogger life and I figured out how to send  an email to my friends with a link so they could read it.  Okay, so I didn't figure it out.  I asked my teenage son to do it, but I did send the email out on my own.  The subject read, "I started a  blog!"!  I sent it to friends and family and eagerly awaited the response.  Apparently my older brother, Dan saw it and without opening it sent an urgent email to my mother warning her not to open it either.  "Diana got hacked!  It is junk." he told her.  That basically sums up how well people know me and my lack of interest in all things technological.  He never even considered that I may have indeed started a blog.  My dear friend, Erica read that I had started my quest to go outside more and told me she needed time to digest the news.  Clearly, saying I was going outside of my comfort zone may have been an understatement.
     Determined to keep up with both the outside exploration and the computer piece of my journey, I needed to make my move.  It was eleven days after surgery and progress had been made!  I hadn't taken pain medicine in five days, the incision had stopped draining and the threat of an emergency second surgery was behind me.  It was time to head outside!  I walked out the front door triumphantly and went straight to our side yard.  We are blessed to live on three and a half acres of fields and woods.  I don't go out there very often, but when I do I can't believe it is all ours.  It is beautiful.  My older kids were terrified to have me venture out but my younger ones were thrilled to see me in their favorite play space.  They greeted me warmly and my seven year old daughter, Ginger took me by the hand.  We started walking towards the path in the woods that my husband had created.  My ten year old son, Oliver joined us then.  My steps were a bit tentative but their excitement was my guiding force.
     We followed the trail lined with trees and flowering plants.  The kids kept shouting, "Look at that!" and pointing at a tiny flower or a chipmunk scurrying by as if I had never been outside before.  Although I had been in our woods a few times, this time felt like a first.  This was a first..  This was the first time I did really look and listen and see what was out there.  Usually if I was in the woods I was giving a new visitor the quick tour.  Oliver found a small, yellow flower and picked it and held it up under my chin..  "Your chin is yellow Mom.  You like butter!".  "No, I don't!", I told him which sent him into a fit of laughter.  Throughout the woods I could see remnants of makeshift clubhouses the kids had constructed and an elaborate pet cemetery commemorating too many of our beloved animals.  The children wanted me to walk off the trail but I thought better of it due to the uneven ground and we headed back.

     The whole experience probably only lasted ten minutes.  By the time I got back to my bed I hurt.  I felt jubilant and discouraged at the same time.  Here's the thing though.  I did it!  I went outside just for fun.  Amazing.

The Best Laid Plans

     I swear my intentions are good.  I want this.  I want to get out there and try new things and I truly hope to fall in love with nature in the process.  Unfortunately, life got in my way this week.  I started my pursuit of a year exploring the Great Outdoors with a big kick off!  I camped!!!  Sort of.  Then the day after the camp out I had surgery on my spine.  It was my third in three years.  I knew the surgery was coming and decided to start the blog and the adventure anyway.  I figured I needed the accountability of announcing that I was doing this or I wouldn't stick to it.  I also knew it would be harder to be outdoorsy for the first few weeks after surgery which is why I started it before.  I know myself well enough to know that any excuse to not get outside would make it easy for this journey to never even begin.  What I hadn't counted on was not being able to get outside for the past week AT ALL.

     In my mind I had thought that by now, six days post-op, I would have taken a small stroll or at least sat on the back deck and sipped a cup of tea.  Nope.  As each day passed I became more anxious about the fact that I hadn't been outside for the week and the clock was ticking.  Yesterday I was determined and today I was defeated.  I hurt.  My neck hurts, my head hurts and the dizziness is taking its toll.  I have decided to cut myself some slack though.  It has only been six days after all and it was major surgery and I still blogged!  Go me!  Plus I thought about going out.  That has to count for something.  I actually did even more than that.  I emailed some friends and asked them to consider adventuring with me in the future.  I received enthusiastic yeses!!!  Planning is in the works and I am thinking about feeling good again and getting back out there.  You can't stop this girl!!  (In all honesty it would be very easy to stop me so please don't try.)  The point is that tomorrow is  a new day and the Great Outdoors are right there waiting for me.