Losing My Voice

     Last May I made the decision to change my life by stepping out of my comfort zone.  In my case, my comfort zone was the indoors.  I made the plan to go outside at least once a week for a year and blog about my experiences.  So far my outside adventures have been mostly positive and often even fun.  Before I started this transformation, I hadn't been spending time outside or writing.   Blogging made me write again after a long hiatus and it felt good.  For months I made it a priority to get outside.  I seized opportunities for time in nature and created them when they didn't present themselves.  Although I wasn't falling in love with being outside, I was recharged by a lifetime love of writing.  Then I made another decision.  I wanted to go to graduate school and get a Master's degree in creative writing.  
     I began searching for colleges that would work with my family and home schooling life.  Then I applied.  The application process involved many pieces including letters of recommendation, an essay answering specific questions about my thoughts and future plans, and a 20 page creative writing sample.  After not writing for two decades, I had work to do.  Somehow by the eleventh hour, I got it done.  Then much to my shock, I got in.
     It was mid October when I got the news that I would be starting graduate school in January.  It was also mid October when I stopped blogging.  I did not make a conscious decision to stop writing. But it happened.  Although I had been in the routine of adventuring and writing for almost six months by that point, overnight it just seemed to disappear from my life.  People would ask when I was going to blog again and I didn't have an answer.  Now two months have passed and I start school in six days.
     I am so excited for this new chapter in my life.  I am excited for making reading and writing a regular part of my routine.  I am excited to meet fellow students and talk "words" with them.  I am excited for a week in Vermont immersing myself in my new academic lifestyle.  I am also terrified.  Terrified that I took on an impossible task.  Terrified that I am too rusty to write a novel in two years.  Terrified that my computer skills are not up to this challenge.  So fear took over and my writing came to a halt.  I had lost my voice.
     Last month I went on a weekend away with my good friend, Nicole.  Nicole is finishing graduate school to become a nurse practitioner and she was inspirational in my choice to go back to college.    We were eating out at a restaurant in Saratoga and my lack of blogging and outdoor exploring was on my mind.  She excused herself to go to the restroom and that is when I noticed the etching on our table.  Each table in the restaurant had carvings in them but mine seemed perfectly placed.  It read, "Go Out For Adventure.  Come Home For love".

I took a quick picture on my phone and sent it to my friend, Bonnie.  Bonnie was the inspiration behind my quest to get outdoors.  She is outside every chance she gets caring for and being cared for by nature.  I wanted to see what she saw in nature and feel what she feels.  Looking at the table I felt the familiar pull to do things differently and see what would happen if I did.  Then another month passed.

     Yesterday was Christmas and between Santa and my family, I got all the supplies I need to head to college.  I got notebooks, highlighters, toiletries for the dorm and White Out.  Lots of White Out. Knowing my family thinks I can do it means I can do it.  This time next week I will be at Goddard College settling in a dorm room and preparing for a week-long residency to kick off my graduate school experience.  With my family as cheerleaders, I think I am getting my voice back.

Many Hands

     For the past few weeks I have been concentrating on getting outside more by simply saying yes to outdoor opportunities.  I am not at the point where I would rather be out than in, but I am getting outside nonetheless.  A lot of my adventures have been things that are fun (to most people) like sporting events, long walks and camping.  I didn't want all of my experiences to be that though.  I wanted to go outside to do work.  Apparently some people think that is fun too.  Go figure.
     We belong to a CSA, or farm share.  We pay a fee that enables us to pick up a weekly supply of fresh vegetables from a local farm.  Great Song Farm, where we go, is a special place.   The farmers have built a wonderful community through farm tours, potlucks, musical events and more.  My whole family enjoys going there for pick ups and social gatherings.
     Each week the farm sends out a newsletter saying which vegetables we will be getting.  Included in the newsletter are a few nature based poems and some recipes that incorporate the more unusual produce we will be receiving.  I consider the newsletter a weekly gift.  Every time I see it in my inbox, I read it immediately and every time the same sentence jumps out at me.  It is the sentence looking for volunteers.  The farm wants volunteers on Wednesday and Friday mornings and they sweeten the deal with the promise of a vegetarian lunch.  Whenever I see that request I think of offering to help and then I wait to see if the weather would be a good fit for me.  During my mother's visit, the time had come.
  It was cool and overcast that Wednesday morning.  My mum, Oliver, Ginger and I were ready!  We dressed in layers and attempted to find wellingtons for the four of us.  In the end I wore pink Birkenstock clogs, my version of farm footwear.  I was so excited to do this!  I wanted to embrace being a farmer and reap what I sowed and live off the land if only for one morning.  On the way to the farm it began to sprinkle.  I was discouraged but not defeated.  I envisioned myself working on the land in the torrential rain like Ma Ingalls on Little House.  Suddenly I was wishing I had thought to make and wear a sunbonnet.
     The rain really didn't amount to much and soon we were there.  We met up with Farmer Sarah and Bridget, the farm intern.  The kids were anxious to show Grammie the draft horses that they had come to love on their visits to the farm.  We were all outfitted with work gloves and we began the walk to an upper field.  Today's task...turnips!!!

     It turned out that the upper field was way upper.  It was a hike to get to it and we all ditched the first layer as soon as we reached the turnips.  Farmer Anthony joined us there and gave us our instructions. Our job was to pull out of the ground the remaining turnips.  I could do that!  First we pulled them out and left them in piles along the row.  Next we gathered them and brought them to the beginning of the row so we could work on them all in one place.  There were two different types of turnips so we separated them,  cut off their tops and put them in large bags.  Next, the bags were loaded on the cart that the draft horses pulled.  And so were we!
     Riding on the cart behind the horses was awesome.  I made a joke about not having just fallen off the turnip truck and
everyone looked at me like I had three heads.  I have been known to misquote idioms and cliches but I thought I actually got that one right.  My spirit couldn't be dampened though.  I had found my outside calling!  Turnip picking!!!  Of course the weather would have to be cool and grey and my helpers would have to be adorable and willing and the farmers I worked with would have to be kind and tolerant.  As long as those things were always true, I had found my outside calling!!!
     I was looking forward to the promised vegetarian lunch.  The weather was so reasonable that we ate outside.  In October!  Sarah and Anthony had made a gorgeous vegetable soup full of fresh kale and squash.  They has a salad made from their own greens and shredded beets and fresh, local bread.  It was a feast.  I loved sitting at the table with my mother and two of my children alongside the farmers that we were happy to call our friends.

     While we finished up, Oliver and Ginger discovered a nearby pile of leaves.  Ginger mounded them up and jumped in!  Oliver raked more piles and asked if we could come back the next day.  I sat there and soaked it all up.  Heaven.

Fair Weather Fan

     In addition to my hatred for being outside and all things summer, I have another major aversion. Sports. I don't like watching them and I certainly don't like playing them. Through the years my children have tried a variety of sports. I never minded attending their games of baseball and soccer when they were little. They had all the cute and none of the competitiveness. Kids would be picking flowers in the outfield during baseball and running in a cluster during soccer. I was always the loudest cheerleader, cheering for all the children on both teams. As the kids got older they were in teams where scores were kept. I still screamed like a banshee but it wasn't as much fun.
     So imagine my surprise when my oldest daughter, Daisy called to tell me she got free tickets to a football game for us to attend during my upcoming visit to see her at her college in South Carolina. My mother and I were going to visit her and apparently we would be driving to Athens, Georgia to cheer on the University of Georgia Bulldogs while we were there. My mum always enjoyed football. I remember hearing her passionately reacting to games on tv when I was a little girl. When my brother and I were in high school, she would happily attend the games even if we wouldn't. She loved the idea of going to this game. Daisy loves football and her boyfriend is a sports lover too. I was the only one who wasn't so sure about this plan.
     Our first stop on this sports adventure was a tailgate party. This was weird. We had passes that allowed us a parking space at a tailgating station. What??? Who knew there was such a thing? A tailgating station is a gated lot with numbered parking spots and a building with restrooms and a common area. Apparently people buy season passes for this kind of thing. We were gifted the pass for the evening and clearly came unprepared. First of all, our rental car was not emblazoned in Bulldog paraphernalia like paw print magnets and University of Georgia flags. We did not have a red U of G awning to assemble in our spot or the coordinating chairs. We were sorely lacking a satellite dish, flat screen television and a grill, among other things necessary to participate. Instead, we had a two dollar Styrofoam cooler from Walmart full of cheese, vegetables, dips and sodas. Truth be told, I was wishing for a Bulldog temporary tattoo for my cheek or a red and black hoodie right about then. Despite my lack of love for sports, I do have a love for community and this definitely was one. Although I still wasn't too excited to go see the game, I started thinking I could get into this tailgating thing if I lived near a team. For the most part, we sat in the car and people watched and half dosed. Tailgating seemed to be something you met up with friends to do.
     Along with the tailgate pass comes a bus ride to the game. We loaded up with the fans and headed off to the college. We were a bit surprised when the bus stopped not that close to the school. We followed the crowd to the enormous stadium and eventually found our way to our seats. To my delight, there was a red pom pom on each one! It was on!!! Before the game even began, the crowd was wired. It was like nothing I had ever seen. The bleachers were a sea of red with a teeny corner of gold and black for the Missouri team. What a coincidence that the opposing team was a college my brother used to teach at. Which led to my mother rooting for the enemy. I can't say I actually cared about the Georgia team, but when in Rome...

     Before the game started the crowd was screaming and cheering along with prompts on the giant screen. I hollered with the best of them. As a matter of fact, I hollered louder than most of them. By the time the game actually started, my throat hurt. At no point did I have any idea what was happening on the field, but a young woman in front of me shared the drama that was unfolding near her involving a drunk teenager, his crying sister, the disappointed parents and the judgmental aunt. Way more entertaining. Daisy's boyfriend seemed shocked at my volume yet impressed. My mum kept rooting for the opposition so we had to pretend she wasn't with us. I remained clueless and content. After halftime we called it a night.
     Although the evening did not change my feelings towards sports, I had fun. And I have the pom poms to prove it.

Best One Yet

     For the past three weeks, my mum has been visiting from Wales.  She comes about once a year and is awesome about getting outside and playing with the kids.  She plays kickball and goes for walks, watches soccer games and cheers for our little cheerleader at football games.  When she is here I often think of the time she spends outside with them as a break for me to stay inside and get things done.  During this visit, I decided to try something new.
     On Tuesdays we drop my 15 year old son, Harper off at the local community college where he is taking a few classes.  Our routine is that we then head home so we can do our home school lessons.  Two weeks ago we brought my mother along so we could show her the school.  After we dropped Harper off, I had an inspired thought!  I remembered that the Walkway Over the Hudson was very nearby.  The Walkway is a special local landmark.  It is a 1.28 mile long pedestrian bridge over the Hudson River that connects Poughkeepsie to Highland, New York.  I suggested the idea to my mum and she was all for it!
     I always shy away from any activity that could potentially make me overheat so I really had to dig deep and want this.  My mum kept mentioning that if we did it I could blog about it so that was just the incentive I needed.  It was cool out and I had high hopes that it would be breezy up on the bridge.  Oliver and Ginger were excited!  Well sort of.  Ginger usually complains on outings like this.
     We started walking and it turned out to be the best outside adventure yet.  The weather was kind to me and the children were having fun.  We stopped at each sign along the bridge and took turns reading facts about the bridge and the area.  About halfway in we discovered the year old glass elevator that we had heard about.  The elevator went beneath the bridge and gave you a view that was almost magical.

Walkway Over the Hudson with Grammie

It took us to a path at ground level that wound around to include a playground, a restaurant, a children's museum and roads to the city above.  We felt like we had stumbled into a secret world!
     Next to the children's museum was a skateboard park full of ramps in various sizes.  Nobody was using it so we went in to explore.  Oliver quickly discovered that skate ramps make terrific slides!  He and Ginger would run up and slide down.  Eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I was sliding too.  Mum didn't join in but Oliver, Ginger and I had a blast holding hands and sliding down the ramps.  We had to pull them away to see what else we could find.

Fun at the skate park

     The playground was another hit.  They were the only ones there and it was easy for my mother and I to sit back and just let them be.  That is where I had my moment.  It was a moment where I realized how much I love home schooling my kids.  I love going out on school days and having places to ourselves.  I love seeing them learn by experiencing like they did when they read the historical signs on the bridge.  I loved letting their interests guide them.
     Eventually we took the elevator back to the bridge and walked the rest of the way to Highland.  Once we got there Grammie treated the children to ice creams.  We walked the 1.28 miles back to the Poughkeepsie side and headed to our car.  By then it was warm and I was getting anxious to lose a layer.  The amazing part though was that I was still having fun.

Fall At Last!

     This past Wednesday brought with it the moment I have been waiting many long months for.  Fall is here again!  I love everything about this time of year.  Fall means cooler days, sweater wearing and leaf changing.  It also could potentially mean less whining from me as I embark on more outdoor adventures.  I can't promise that, but it could happen.

     I ushered in fall with good friends, a picnic and a hike.  I dressed for the occasion by wearing sandals with a back strap.  Flip flops would have been just plain silly.  My long skirt may not have been the perfect choice but it got me through.  My dear friend, Lisa and her kids, Logan and Grace met me, Ginger and Oliver at Mills Mansion.

Mills Mansion

Mills Mansion is a local historical site along the Hudson River that has beautiful trails and large open grassy spaces.  Without a single gripe from me, we walked for an hour and a half!  I loved seeing Ginger and Grace walking hand and hand and listening to the boys chatting about Legos and Star Wars.  Lisa and I were able to catch up after a summer too busy to see each other.  The best part?  I wasn't the one to ask to stop hiking!  That's right!  It was one of the children!  

     We walked back on the trail until we reached our cars where our picnic lunches were waiting.  We spread our old blankets out on a large open field under the trees and enjoyed our food.  There was so much giggling and chatter that it made my heart feel good.  When we finished eating, the children began a game of Apples to Apples.  Lisa and I continued to enjoy our uninterrupted opportunity to talk.  Perfection.  

     There were lots of hugs good bye and promises to meet up again soon.  For a moment I almost caught myself wishing the weather would stay this reasonable so we could have more outside days like this.  Almost.  

Lunar Eclipse

     Fall also brought with it an amazing phenomenon called the Supermoon.  My understanding of this is limited, but I believe it means the moon was closer to the earth than ever and something eclipsed at the same time.  What I do know is my husband lives for this stuff.  He has been known to get up in the middle of the night to see meteor showers and other astronomical activity.  Since those things fall into the category of outdoor adventures, I never partake.
The night of the Supermoon I checked in with my daughter, Daisy, who is in South Carolina attending college.  She loves being outdoors, so I asked her if she was going to observe the eclipse.  She was bummed because it was too cloudy where she was to see it.  She suggested I go out and look at it.  In her words, "You  should go out and get your Supermoon on and blog about it".  My response, "I can't.  There is a marathon on tv of The Facts of Life".  Besides, there will be another one in 2033.

Proof

     They call Labor Day the "Unofficial End of Summer".  I was waiting with baited breath for the day when summer ended and took with it the heat and sunshine.  Unfortunately for me, Labor Day came and went and then the temperatures went up.  I am looking into making Labor day the "Official" Last Day of Summer in hopes that will change the universe's weather pattern going forward.  So far though, no luck.

Tan lines!

     As predicted, I struggled with my outdoor adventure plan for the hottest months of the year.  I have never loved the heat and I wondered how I was going to get myself outside every week now that I said I would.  So to all of you that said I couldn't do it and to all of you that said I wouldn't do it, I have proof.  I have proof that I have not only gone outside this summer but I have gone outside a lot.  My friends, I have tan lines.  I have flip flop lines on my feet and caramel colored knees.  You don't get those from staying in the ice cold awesomeness of the indoors!  Tan lines are hard earned.  I like to think of them as battle scars. As further proof, I have noticed highlights in my hair.  It is possible they are just grays, but I am calling them highlights.
     Don't get me wrong.  There were absolutely some magical outdoor moments this summer.  There were trips to the Lake House and a fantastic birthday party.  There was sitting on a restaurant's deck for hours while I caught up with a friend I hadn't seen in six years.  There was the beginning of a new cheer season for Ginger and a wonderful day with my husband and three youngest children at the county fair.  Through it all I learned a lot.  I learned that I probably will never learn to love sunshine.  I learned that sunscreen really works if you actually remember to put it on.  I also learned that my kids want me outside with them because they want to share something they love with me.  Most importantly I learned that that is reason enough to get out there.

Praying for Sunshine

     On this past Sunday, we had a party to celebrate the birthdays of our three youngest children.  Leo, Oliver and Ginger have birthdays in June, July and August so we always throw them one big Summer celebration.  Every year I seem to pick a weekend where lots of families are away and I worry about how many people will come.  I didn't have to worry this year.  Everyone was coming.  As the guest list kept growing, I began praying for a sunny, dry day so the party could be outside.  I basically never wish for days to be sunny and dry, so this was new for me.  It wasn't even about not wanting 40 kids and 35 adults in my house.  It was because I knew they would have more fun outside.  There.  I said it.  Even I knew they would have more fun outside.
     The day of the party was indeed warm and dry.  Very warm. Unpleasantly warm.  I whined every time I stepped outside to work on preparations.  Luckily my super, amazing husband took care of 99.8% of what needed to get done out there.  My jobs were blissfully contained in the climate controlled utopia of the house.  I cooked and cleaned and decorated cakes and painted names on beach bags for the kids coming to the party.
     Five o'clock came and it was party time!  Outside we had a sand table with hidden shells, a large block of ice with treasures frozen inside, pennies in the hay, a kiddie pool, a large homemade slip and slide and new for 2015...slip and slide kickball!!!  Soon the house and yard were full.  The slip and slide had at least ten kids on it at any given time and there was a wet and wild kickball game that went on for hours.

Homemade slip and slide

     We purposely planned the event for early evening so it would be cooler.  The yard was shady and it was actually bordering on reasonable out there.  Our guests ate and chatted.  There were people sitting on the grass relaxing as the children played together without incident.  It couldn't have been nicer.  I was grateful for the weather that made this day possible.   I can't believe it either, but I was.
     The morning after the party I woke up stiff and sore from two straight days on my feet.  I got the children up and we headed to the yard to begin clean up efforts.  Socks and cups floated in the kiddie pool.  More cups were spotted mysteriously in the treetops.  It looked like the aftermath of a college kegger.  To top it all off, there was a pair of panties on the fence post of the horse's pen.  Now that is evidence of a great party!

No Pictures Please!!!

     Last week Oliver, Ginger and I headed back to the lake house.  We weren't ten minutes away from our home when I realized I forgot the camera.  I had made detailed lists outlining our meals for each of the four days we would be gone including which groceries we would need.  I remembered bathing suits, clothes, even the Quiet Bag we needed to bring to church on Sunday.  Yet, I forgot the camera.  I contemplated turning around, but I didn't want to lose the momentum and enthusiasm we were already experiencing.  We had the book on CD playing, the mountains of stuffed animals and blankets filling the backseat, full Disney  and Scooby Doo lunchboxes by our sides, and we had already sang two triumphant verses of "On the Road Again" at the top of our lungs.  I decided to press on and do without.
     Most everybody these days would have been fine without a camera on a mini vacation because their fancy phones take pictures.  However, my phone isn't fancy.  It is barely even a phone.  Technically, it does take pictures.  Teeny, tiny ones with no way to zoom in.  I do occasionally use the camera feature but I have no idea how to get the photos off the camera onto Facebook or into print.  So it was time to face the music.  This would be a camera-less trip.

No Pictures Please!!!

     Schroon Lake is absolutely beautiful.  It is a gorgeous clear lake surrounded by pine trees.  The sun was shining, my children were being adorable and I couldn't take a single picture of any of it.  Like many other women, I have a love-hate relationship with cameras.  I love taking and having pictures of my kids.  I hate having my picture taken.  I always feel insecure and worry that I will look too fat, too old, too something.  I have been trying to overcome this mindset so my family will look back through the years and remember that I did, in fact, exist.  One major lifestyle change at a time please.  For now I am working hard at just going outside.
     Just like our last trip to the lake house, we spent most of each day at the beach.  I am still working on wanting to be outside, but I am at least better at going outside.  I may even be starting to understand why someone would choose to go out when they could stay in.  Maybe.  I think I get it as far as kids go anyway.  When you are outside you don't have to watch your volume and you can frolic and things don't get broken as easily.  You make friends with kids you don't know and you explore and you find treasures you didn't know you couldn't live without like the world's most microscopic snail shell.
     So for four days I sat in the sun watching my kids smile and splash and have the time of their lives.  I never told them it was time to go home.  I just waited until they wore themselves out.  I had my feet buried in the sand, I judged sandcastle building contests, I complained about the heat (not a lot!), and I didn't take a single picture of any of it.  So instead of capturing memories we were busy making them.

Through Leo's Eyes

     We have a son with special needs.  Leo is intellectually disabled amongst a variety of other disorders.  He is also compassionate, affectionate, polite, obsessed with sneakers and High School Musical and tries hard at everything he does.  Unfortunately, his disabilities makes him a challenge a good deal of the time.  As a couple, my husband and I tend to divide the kids up so that one parent has Leo and the other parent has Oliver and Ginger.  That way the rest of the kids get some attention.  Most of the time Dennis has Leo.
     The other day I had Leo all to myself and I tried to really savor it instead of just trying to make it work.  I had kids at work, school and camps so Leo and I were left to adventure on our own.  We had just dropped off Ginger at a library class.  My original plan was to stay at the library in air conditioned book reading bliss, but Leo said, "I can't just stay inside all day!".  Although staying inside all day is my favorite thing to do, "New Outside Adventuring Blogger Diana" knew I had to seize this chance.  So we went for a walk through town.
     Since I decided to take on the challenge of going outdoors once a week and blogging about it, I have tried to focus on what I see, hear and feel when I am outside.  At first that is what I did.  I was fixated on the noises of a town full of traffic and of course, I was thinking about how painfully warm it was.  Quickly though I began to focus on Leo and how he was experiencing things.  He was terrified.  We don't usually walk around in places with so much noise or traffic.  He held onto my hand like it was his lifeline.  As we approached an intersection I thought he would enjoy pushing the button to make the light tell us when to walk.  He liked pushing the button but was frozen at the prospect of crossing the street.  To make it worse, the light never changed and we had to walk when it said not to.  Being Leo means being trapped in a brain that doesn't work like other eleven year olds.  It means being confused a lot of the time and that means being vulnerable.  My heart was breaking for this child I love so much and am so often frustrated with.  I held his hand tighter and we crossed the street.

Leo

     He never let go as we went to the post office and mailed a letter to his sister in college.  We headed back towards the library and I spontaneously pulled him into a toy store for a peek.  The store was a darling, quaint little place with toys in the back and a candy shop up front.  He never asked for anything and just delighted in looking around.  He asked what certain toys were for.  Again my heart was breaking.  Leo doesn't really have an imagination.  He doesn't play with toys.  He does sports and he does them well because they have rules and expectations.  Toys don't work in his world.  We walked into the candy section and there I found my idea of Heaven.  They had candy form Great Britain!  It was like a flashback to my childhood visits to my family in England and Wales.  I had to have it.  I selected a few of my favorites like Penguin bars and Refreshers.  By then the shop owner had begun a chat with Leo and was showing him the playroom where she hosts play groups and classes.  He said that he wanted to go there and I had to explain it was for younger kids.  He offered to come and help her run the classes and take care of the kids for her.  I understood then that Leo is not really aware of his limitations.  He truly believes he would be an asset to her business.  My heart tore a little more.  She told Leo that she was offering a creative writing class to kids his age and he got very excited and asked if I could bring him there.  He kept telling her that he had very good handwriting.  I knew he couldn't participate in a class like that, so I told him we would have to discuss it.  Again, my heart was aching.
     As we were leaving to go back to the library, his hand found mine again.  I asked him what my favorite thing to do was.  He answered, "Hold my hand".  He was right.  I think he was relieved when we navigated the crosswalks and arrived safely back where we had started.  At the library a toddler was playing in the children's area and Leo was eager to talk with him.  The boy couldn't say any real words yet and that suited Leo just fine.  Leo acted like he understood everything he said and found a ball to entertain him with.  This went on for quite some time while the boy's mother and I chatted.  When Ginger's class was over and it was time to go, I told Leo that we were going to head home.  He looked at me and said, "I can't leave.  The baby needs me."
     Although I didn't really experience the Great Outdoors on this adventure, I did really learn things.  My Leo sees the world as a very different place than most of us. He is vulnerable and trusting and everything is big and important.  When I took the time to see things through his eyes my heart broke, but holding his hand helped put it back together.

A Change of Scenery

     I apologize for not writing this post sooner, but I was busy being OUTSIDE!  For the past week two of my children and I were on a vacation to Schroon Lake, a beautiful lakeside community in the Adirondacks.  We are blessed to have such generous friends that they frequently loan us their vacation home there.  As often as we can, some combination of my family borrows the house which is a mere two or three minute walk to the lake.  This time it was Ginger, Oliver and my turn.
     The three of us have been there two times before together but never in summer weather.  The first trip was last October.  The kids insisted on swimming in the deserted lake while I sat on the beach wrapped from head to toe in their warm towels.  The next time we visited was in April while part of the lake was still thick with ice.  That time we focused our outdoor energy on the local playgrounds.  For this trip I knew the weather was ripe for beach trips.  Lots of them.  I summoned my inner strength and in order to show my commitment to all things outside, I had my nails done for the occasion.  That is how ready I was.

"I had my nails done for the occasion."

     We arrived on Saturday evening and went straight to unpacking and making dinner.  I did channel my fun mom side and took them on a walk to get ice cream.  I will admit that I love the ease of walking everywhere when we are there.  At home we live in a more rural area and can't walk to anything except the local graveyard.  It felt so good to enjoy the simplicity of a quiet walk holding my daughter's hand and seeing the excitement of treating my kids to a late night snack.
     The next day we walked to a nearby church and then stopped on the way home to play at a playground.  It had rained overnight and the only seat available was an outdoor chaise- loungy thing with a fabric cover.  It was sunny and warm and I couldn't just stand there.  I gave in and sat on the soaked cushion.  I hung on as long as I could while the children played.  It got hotter and hotter and I got wetter and wetter.  I lasted about an hour and then suggested we head home.  After lunch was our first beach trip.  The children were in the water faster than I could set up my soccer mom chair on the sand.  They were in paradise.  I am about to admit something big.  I was happy to be outside.  Happy. Outside.  Watching them was a pure delight.  They made friends, built sand structures, swam, played, and giggled.  It was wonderful.  We stayed for hours.  We stayed past dinner time and past when the other families left.  Exhausted, we headed home.  Repeat that for the next five days.
     I really was extra fun during this trip and we were outside each day for many hours.  By day four though, I prayed for rain.  I got it in the form of a thunderstorm overnight and a grey morning.  It didn't last and we were right back on the beach by lunchtime.  Oh well.  The children were so happy.  That was all I needed to keep myself on that beach.

Ginger and Oliver

     I will admit that it was easier to be outside because the weather was so reasonable.  Just as soon as I would start to complain about the heat, the sun would disappear behind a cloud and I would stop my grumbling.  Watching the kids was what really made it all worthwhile.  It made me think how easy it would be to make them happy by getting outside with them more.  They need to run and be noisy and explore.  They were loving every minute of our time there and that made me love it too.
     Saturday morning we slept in, tidied up, and were on our way home from the Lake House.  We were all sad to leave.  By the time we had driven the three hours back to our house the rain started in earnest and continued for the rest of the day and all through the weekend.  Believe it or not, I was glad it waited for us to go.

   
   

Ugly Hot

     So it turns out that Saturday was National Get Outdoors Day.  I participated in National Hug Your Cat Day and I tried to participate in National Doughnut Day, (who ever would have thought Dunkin Donuts would run out of doughnuts?), so I figured the least I could do was participate in this one too.
     I started the day by heading out to the baseball field to watch my youngest daughter play.  Ginger is a delightful little girl who is social and silly and easy going.  Although she has no real interest in sports, she is always perfectly happy to go to baseball each week.  It may be because she loves to talk to each player as they stop on the base she is guarding.  It may be because there are so many pretty flowers to pick while she mans the outfield.  No matter what the reason, she gets ready each week in her uniform shirt and one of her favorite skirts and hits the field smiling!  A lot of progress has been made with Ginger and her baseball skills through the years.  Until this season, she would frequently be found lying in the grass sucking her thumb during games.  This season she has remained standing at every game!  Another change has happened this year.  She got good at baseball.  Very good.  I think it has been a surprise to everyone, especially Ginger.  That girl can hit!  And catch!  And throw!  Who knew?  This game was no exception.  With the first pitch she sent that ball flying between second and third base and way out into the field!  Like any self-respecting parent would, I screamed, "That's my kid!".  Can you imagine how well she would play if she actually cared about baseball?  After the game a variety of parents came over to tell her it was the best hit of the season. Well there you go.

Ginger "playing" baseball last year

     Although I technically had already been outside for national Get Outdoors Day, I wanted to do even better.  (Was it possible I was really going outside twice in one day of my own free will?)  So when my family left to visit a local farm and pick up our first farm share of the summer, I decided to tag along.  Great Song Farm is a local treasure in my opinion.  The young farmers, Anthony and Sarah are friendly and welcoming and are always ready to share their passion for the farm with you. When we arrived we went straight to the shed where the bounty was laid out.  There were gorgeous mounds of fresh greens each with a placard explaining what they were.  There was head lettuce, bok choy, spring mix, and mustard greens.  There was also fresh basil and garlic scapes and Chinese broccoli.  It smelled heavenly.  I was left to fill our bags while my husband, Dennis explored the farm with our youngest three, Ginger, Oliver and Leo.
     Once the bags were full of fresh vegetables, I went out to find my family.  They were off with Sarah visiting the draft horses.  I had a quick snuggle with the beautiful horses and then we decided to walk around some more.  The kids found a ball and began to play.  I went to the van to grab some water.  In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit this is when I stopped having fun and in all honesty, stopped being fun.  It was hot.  Ugly hot.  It was the kind of hot that made me want to punch a wall.  I wanted my central air conditioning and I wanted it now.

     When I decided to embark on this plan to go outside every week for a year, I did realize that some of those weeks would fall in the summer and more often than not, be very hot.  One of the reasons I chose to start when I did was to get the worst weather over with first. Of course the planning of this journey was made easier since it took place while I was soaking up some ice cold AC in the comfort of the Great Indoors!  I refuse to be discouraged though and I won't consider quitting!!!  I have a lot of summer ahead of me and lots of opportunities to try again.  Who knows?  Maybe I will learn to love the outdoors and sunshine and hot days.  Stranger things have been known to happen.

Baby Steps

     Three posts into my new blogger life and I figured out how to send  an email to my friends with a link so they could read it.  Okay, so I didn't figure it out.  I asked my teenage son to do it, but I did send the email out on my own.  The subject read, "I started a  blog!"!  I sent it to friends and family and eagerly awaited the response.  Apparently my older brother, Dan saw it and without opening it sent an urgent email to my mother warning her not to open it either.  "Diana got hacked!  It is junk." he told her.  That basically sums up how well people know me and my lack of interest in all things technological.  He never even considered that I may have indeed started a blog.  My dear friend, Erica read that I had started my quest to go outside more and told me she needed time to digest the news.  Clearly, saying I was going outside of my comfort zone may have been an understatement.
     Determined to keep up with both the outside exploration and the computer piece of my journey, I needed to make my move.  It was eleven days after surgery and progress had been made!  I hadn't taken pain medicine in five days, the incision had stopped draining and the threat of an emergency second surgery was behind me.  It was time to head outside!  I walked out the front door triumphantly and went straight to our side yard.  We are blessed to live on three and a half acres of fields and woods.  I don't go out there very often, but when I do I can't believe it is all ours.  It is beautiful.  My older kids were terrified to have me venture out but my younger ones were thrilled to see me in their favorite play space.  They greeted me warmly and my seven year old daughter, Ginger took me by the hand.  We started walking towards the path in the woods that my husband had created.  My ten year old son, Oliver joined us then.  My steps were a bit tentative but their excitement was my guiding force.
     We followed the trail lined with trees and flowering plants.  The kids kept shouting, "Look at that!" and pointing at a tiny flower or a chipmunk scurrying by as if I had never been outside before.  Although I had been in our woods a few times, this time felt like a first.  This was a first..  This was the first time I did really look and listen and see what was out there.  Usually if I was in the woods I was giving a new visitor the quick tour.  Oliver found a small, yellow flower and picked it and held it up under my chin..  "Your chin is yellow Mom.  You like butter!".  "No, I don't!", I told him which sent him into a fit of laughter.  Throughout the woods I could see remnants of makeshift clubhouses the kids had constructed and an elaborate pet cemetery commemorating too many of our beloved animals.  The children wanted me to walk off the trail but I thought better of it due to the uneven ground and we headed back.

     The whole experience probably only lasted ten minutes.  By the time I got back to my bed I hurt.  I felt jubilant and discouraged at the same time.  Here's the thing though.  I did it!  I went outside just for fun.  Amazing.

The Best Laid Plans

     I swear my intentions are good.  I want this.  I want to get out there and try new things and I truly hope to fall in love with nature in the process.  Unfortunately, life got in my way this week.  I started my pursuit of a year exploring the Great Outdoors with a big kick off!  I camped!!!  Sort of.  Then the day after the camp out I had surgery on my spine.  It was my third in three years.  I knew the surgery was coming and decided to start the blog and the adventure anyway.  I figured I needed the accountability of announcing that I was doing this or I wouldn't stick to it.  I also knew it would be harder to be outdoorsy for the first few weeks after surgery which is why I started it before.  I know myself well enough to know that any excuse to not get outside would make it easy for this journey to never even begin.  What I hadn't counted on was not being able to get outside for the past week AT ALL.

     In my mind I had thought that by now, six days post-op, I would have taken a small stroll or at least sat on the back deck and sipped a cup of tea.  Nope.  As each day passed I became more anxious about the fact that I hadn't been outside for the week and the clock was ticking.  Yesterday I was determined and today I was defeated.  I hurt.  My neck hurts, my head hurts and the dizziness is taking its toll.  I have decided to cut myself some slack though.  It has only been six days after all and it was major surgery and I still blogged!  Go me!  Plus I thought about going out.  That has to count for something.  I actually did even more than that.  I emailed some friends and asked them to consider adventuring with me in the future.  I received enthusiastic yeses!!!  Planning is in the works and I am thinking about feeling good again and getting back out there.  You can't stop this girl!!  (In all honesty it would be very easy to stop me so please don't try.)  The point is that tomorrow is  a new day and the Great Outdoors are right there waiting for me.

Go Big or Go Home

     In order to get the ball rolling on my one year adventure of going outside every week, I decided to start big!  What is bigger than camping?  Roughing it!  Living off the land!  Surviving by my wits!  My oldest daughter, Daisy always says, "Go big or go home!", so I took her advice and went big and stayed home.  She and I were going camping in our own backyard!!!  (In my defense, I did try to find an available campsite but it being Memorial Day weekend made that impossible.)  I spent the evening preparing good camping food like potato salad, cowboy caviar and corn on the cob.  Then it was time.  My husband had set up our tent in the field alongside our house.  He had lovingly run an extension cord into the tent for a lamp and Daisy's computer so we could watch old episodes of Friends on Netflix.  The good news was the cord had room for my electric blanket too!  Daisy and I headed out on the 100 yard hike to get to our home for the night.  We made beds with layers of quilts from the house and snuggled in.  We spread out our buffet and began to enjoy the great outdoors, just like Laura Ingalls and her family had done so many years before us.

     At about eleven o'clock we decided we wanted to get my youngest out of her bed and bring her out to join in the fun.  Ginger was fast asleep when I went up to her room.  Soon she was back to sleep in our cozy tent between us.  I don't know if it was all the fresh air but I fell asleep much earlier than I usually did.  I surprisingly slept great out there until a nightmare woke me up.  It was 4:07 a.m. and pitch dark.  I was terrified.  I knew there were animals that frequented our woods but I wasn't prepared for how vulnerable I felt hearing them while I lay in a flimsy tent.  The girls were sleeping soundly next to me. I kept hoping they would wake up and beg me to go inside but they didn't.  I could hear our ducks stir occasionally in their pen nearby.  It sounded exactly like an intruder heading our way.  I prayed for daylight.  By 5:03 the sun had come up and with it came some peace.  Now I just prayed to go back to sleep.  That didn't come that easily so instead I reminded myself of the mission that made me decide to be out there in the first place.  I wanted to experience life in the outdoors not just be in it.  So I closed my eyes and focused on the sounds I was hearing.  It was amazing how differently the sounds made me feel now that it was daylight.  I could hear a variety of birds.  I loved the way one would say something and a different one would answer.  The first one called out and was answered by a bird that sounded like an old fashioned sprinkler.  That sound reminded me of sweet childhood memories of growing up in Arizona spending lots of time outside.  The hot weather meant long days of running through sprinklers and going down the Slip and Slide.  I never shied away from the adventures that the outdoors brought back then.  Laying in the tent I couldn't help but reflect on how much I had changed since those days.  I was grateful already that the idea of this blog had forced me outside.    It was nice to hear the sounds of birds and of our farm animals waking up, which I normally wouldn't have noticed.  The chickens started to move around and spread their wings to sunbathe.  One began to lay an egg.  I could barely make out the stirring of our two goats but I strained to hear them, wanting to be aware of when they started their day.

     Eventually I fell back to sleep and didn't wake up until 9!  It was already hot in the tent and the lack of indoor plumbing was rapidly becoming an issue.  I headed into the house excited that we had lasted the night out there and hadn't given up.  As soon as I walked through the door I was greeted by a blast of central air conditioning.  That's more like it, I thought.  After all, Rome wasn't built in a day.

Outside of My Comfort Zone

     I have been contemplating writing a blog for some time.  I had  the idea that it would chronicle my transformation from city girl to country girl after we moved to New York from Massachusetts.  Only that never happened.  Not the transformation and not the blog.  Sure I can now identify many chickens by breed and I know more about goats in rut than I ever wanted to know, but inside not that much changed.  The idea of a blog was still there though.  I started thinking about what I like to read and then inspiration struck!  I love a good memoir, specifically a memoir where the writer details making a lifestyle change or embarking on a personal pilgrimage of sorts.  Wild by Cheryl Strayed, The Dirty Life by Kristin Kimball, and Life From Scratch by Sasha Martin are a few of my favorites.  So I began to wonder what I could change about the way I am living my life and what might happen if I did make a change.  The answer was clear.  I needed to step outside my comfort zone and outside was the magic word.

     I made the decision to go outside at least once every week and blog about it.  Walking from the house to the van was not enough.  I needed to go outside and have an experience.  This may not sound like much to most people which is why I need to explain myself.  I hate being outside.  Like all capital letters HATE.  I love the great indoors.  I love climate control and staying clean and sitting down.  When I have a choice between an indoor and outdoor activity, zero times out of 100 do I choose the outdoor option.  So this new plan of mine is going to be a challenge.  

     In a huge burst of excitement I shared my idea with my 15 year old son, Harper.  He knows me well enough to know the difficulty of what I was about to do; writing on the computer and spending time outdoors.  I don't do either one.  He smiled and said sarcastically, "That will be a walk in the park".  With that, my blog was born.